just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
All the doctor said was why
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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