Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
