We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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