Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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