I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize