what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
