My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
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