we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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