I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
