margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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