i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just forgot I was standing up.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
