if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
We left the knife in your bed.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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