:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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