I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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