So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
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Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
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Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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