Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize