Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
