I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
