Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
