everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
