i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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