I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
