Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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