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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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