should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
