Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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