none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
