I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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