I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
