The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
