I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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