They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
