Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
