she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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