I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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