Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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