As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
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