I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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