I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
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