That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize