Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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