I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
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