Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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