It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
