Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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