remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
