I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
