I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
