Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
