Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
