Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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