I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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