sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
