well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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