i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
