it was like his penis was on wheels.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
