i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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