do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
