It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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