I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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