I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize