it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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