i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
