Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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