We won't sleep together?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
