I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
