Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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